Shyness according scientists is often due to genetic predisposition,however many psychologists will point to strong experiential factors. The latter of the two can often be explained by past experiences of rejection or fears of future failure.
Whatever reason for those who suffer from shyness;kids or adults,it can destroy or miss out some great relationship if it's not control properly.For children and teens who suffer from shyness,there are three major steps that parents can take to help:
- Highlighting past successes
- Provide opportunities for new successes
- Get to the root of the problem
Highlighting past successes doesn’t have to mean just verbally reminding a person that they did something very very well. It could be a small success or great try for a new things.
Opportunities for new successes
Just as you wouldn’t take a child who is afraid of heights up to the top of the Empire State Building, it’s not recommended that you force shy kids into unfamiliar social situations. Your best bet is to introduce them to familiar settings and activities, such as family events, close friends’ birthday parties or play dates in the comfort of their own home.
Building social confidence doesn’t just come from interaction, however. It’s largely based on self-confidence, which can be increased through solo successes in art, music, grades, individual athletics, writing and responsibilities (taking care of an older sibling or pet).
Look for opportunities to help your child soar at whatever he/she does – even if it has to start at home. Once your child hits a major milestone (such as completing an essay and entering it into a contest), be sure to praise his/her effort rather than the final result. In the case of the essay, for example, you could share the piece with friends and family and ask them to send complimentary responses, or post the piece on an online community portal or personal blog.
The root of the problem
Sometimes, shyness is the result of a pervasive problem that may or may not exist outside the child’s control. Bullies, cliques or an overly critical parent or sibling can lead a child to devalue his/her worth and accomplishments. Look for ways to foster discussion with children to help determine the cause of their shyness. Questions like, “What makes you feel sad?” or “When was the last time you were mad?” may spark a conversation that leads to some discovery.
One often-overlooked correlation is that shyness is often paralleled by low self-esteem due to slower (not lower) performance.
While some may argue that slow performance is a result of low self-esteem.
Scientists and psychologists now know that more often than not, self-esteem can be increased by increasing the speed at which results are attained. In fact, even smart kids tend to suffer a decrease of confidence when they don’t achieve their results (such as test-taking or homework) as quickly or easily as their classmates.
Whatever the cause, shyness is a common condition and shouldn’t be treated as a plague. Many of us grow out of it and those that don’t can still go on to build healthy relationships and careers. Still, if there’s a non-genetic reason behind a person's low self-esteem, getting to the root of the problem could me watching him/her transform.
Ref:Overcoming shyness: Helping your child excel in school and life
media.learningrx.com
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